WHY YOU MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING STRESS

In recent days, when a lot is going on, we usually react to our social and physical environment with stress. According to Wikipedia_ stress is a feeling of emotional strain and pressure. This also means that stress can be problematic at times.

Photo:) pexel


Stress could be your worry about the future, the uncontrollable chaos, and concern about events that has passed. It could be the current disturbances, pressure, and weaknesses in one’s life_ usually in the form of anxiety and tension that we often do not know how to resolve.
You could be anxious about the punishment or the consequences of a problem you created and it leads to stress. Minor things can cause stress, on the other hand; stress is usually from/in the mind. The imaginations that we have in our minds could threaten us, and bring fear and anxiousness that is unpleasant, and capable of breaking us down.

Most of our stress is not caused by physical challenges but rather the challenges we encounter in our heads; annoyance, anger, embarrassment, excitement, frustration, impatience or rush, threats, and lots more could be responsible for our stress.
But if we can be intentional about eliminating and hindering the troubles of our minds, hence, will handle the pressures and stress of our lives; both real and imagined.

THE KINDS OF STRESS WE FACE COULD BE:


1. Stress from uncertainties:

Sometimes, we are stressed about the things that we presume. The uncertainties, the possibilities, the things we are unsure of, and other occurrencies that we think might happen to us.
This kind of stress can be so traumatic that only the thought of it creates fear, loss of memories, overload, overthinking, inattentiveness, sickness, sleeplessness, and some other targets from stress.
You can learn how to handle your feelings, the situation itself, and your responses to stress. Think about yourself and others, including your environment with a new perspective.

Photo:) Freepik


2. Imagined stress:

Stress from our imaginations could be very dangerous as it cannot be avoided. But trust me, you can foresee it.
In our minds, we create illusions of worry and fears that threaten us on the inside and outwardly as well. We usually look for the worst in ourselves, consciously and unconsciously. Sometimes, we imagine the worst in a situation, and even create an unreal problem for ourselves which leaves us depressed, and unsympathetic, and gives us a negative perception of a situation, people, and the world in general.
This kind of stress puts us at a high risk of experiencing our imagined fears and problems. Some people feel an awkwardly satisfying emotion that they saw it coming. The imagined stress makes us feel like visionaries, mediums, predictors, prophets, or some kind of fortune-teller.
Although, these feelings do not entirely remove the wickedness of the stressful situation and bad occurrences, rather it pushes us to run into the zone of imaginational stress, especially when we have not created awareness and consciousness of how our emotions, feelings, and thoughts progressively pop up and burst out.
If we learn about ourselves (inwardly and outwardly) then, we can save ourselves from self-infliction of stress, pain, and negativity.
We can erase the imaginational stress, through consciousness and awareness. Whatever we create with our minds, we can uncreate as well.

3. Certain stress or stress from certainties:

If we are certain about our stress and the fact that we are truly stressed out, then it is due to the neurological structure of how we respond to life experiences, upsets of life, pain, discomfort, and anger. Our environment, perception, belief, and attitude, are high contributors to stress.
Find out what contributes to your stress. Is it an environment like your workplace, a roadblock, or even your social environment? Then, you could try changing it.

Another way we can get out of our stress is to stay in control (especially with the things that have happened and the occurrences that we see coming) and try to put ourselves together. If you’re a student that didn’t do great on the tests, don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed and sad.
Try putting effort and energy into other things, while you stay positive about the test results. Always try to do things one at a time, in order not to cause frustration and then stress.
Think of why you are in a rush and if it’s necessary, will it be beneficial to you in the next decades? Discover why you are pressured and how it has affected you. Then you can become more aware of your emotions and know when to distract yourself from them. Know when you have to stop and take a break or a nap. Examine yourself, have you been sleeping well? If not, get good sleep. Do you spend more time than usual thinking about negative “what ifs”? If you do, then you can talk to someone, read a book, get therapy, or something close to that.

WITHOUT THESE THREE THINGS YOU CAN’T GROW POSITIVELY

There are three major things you must do if you want to grow positively. If you want growth, then these tips are going to elevate you physically, emotionally, and mentally.


Photo by Hello I’m Nik (: Unsplash ).


1. BE YOUR MOTIVATION:

Examine yourself, see the things you’ve been through, how strong you’ve been and still are, what fears you’ve faced, and how you have struggled and surpassed yourself. Build a sense that is too late to not keep moving forward, and that giving up simply means you fought so hard for absolutely nothing…

Picture this, if you patiently waited for a bus for over an hour and finally left the street to find other options. The bus could arrive just then and get filled up faster than you can imagine, and even when you turn back, run, and try to catch up, there might not be space for you. The same applies to chasing your goals, you might be working consistently with little to no results but that shouldn’t be a reason to strike out. Always believe that your success is near and every opportunity that you’ll give up on, another will take up. Always motivate yourself and when you are too weak to, find someone or something that motivates you to do/be better.


2. PUT YOURSELF FIRST, AND THEN OTHERS:

Working your butt off, and putting your health on the line for your boss who is not only ungrateful but inconsiderate because they feel you are getting paid for the hard work, is a typical example of how some other humans will act towards your compassion, love, money, and respect. We humans (I still don’t understand why?) always feel that others are obliged to do, support, and give to us what they have or own. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do things for other people, rather you should care for yourself and know your limits. While you work hard to support other people, do not forget to support yourself.


Photo by Manny Monero (: Unsplash)

KNOW THAT NEGATIVITY IS PART OF LIFE:

Understanding that negativity is part of life is the most important way o growth positively. We’ve all had that moment when we got hurt and we said that we might never love again, and even proceeded with telling ourselves that there is no room for politeness, kindness, or accommodation for attention.

And all these were said and done out of hurt and pain. The same applies to the people who are bitter today, they are acting out of pain. When a person tries to say hurtful words to you, make hateful comments, and do things to provoke you, try feeling sorry for them instead of feeling angry.

In as much as toxicity is contagious, it’s up to you to decide whether the negative emotions, attitudes, and actions referred towards you_ are acceptable or not. You get to choose if the negativity from other people is allowed to affect you_ change the way you think about yourself and others, or change your attitude and actions towards yourself and other people.
Negativity is inevitable, although, we shouldn’t wish for it, rather we need is to realize that and move on. Imagine a person saying that you are not good enough at what you are still building on, don’t see it as a mockery or insult about your insecurities. Besides, it’s not an insecurity, or else you make it one. You can choose to view it as a statement that is meant to give you more reasons to improve yourself and become better. Becoming angry or pained about it, only makes you feel worse about yourself and even other people. There is a lot of negativity around and it’s best_ you decide that you are not part of it.

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FIVE THINGS TO DO WHENEVER YOU FEEL ANGRY


Anger is one of the emotions that is commonly faced by everyone in today’s world. It has the potential of causing disaster and destroying relationships, friendships, and bonds. Anger is difficult to control.
Or is it?
Here, you’ll discover the most effective way to get overcome your anger, or at least reduce it.

Photos – unsplash


Number 1: Think about the root of your anger:


When you’re angry, there’s a possibility of not knowing the reason behind your anger. At times it seems like you are angry for no reason but actually, there is a cause or fault behind every emotion including anger. And not knowing what is responsible for any emotion, can cause more damage to you or anyone around you.
The root of your anger can be frustration, disappointment, disagreement, dissatisfaction, not meeting your goals or minor issues that can eradicate or take away your happy state of mind.
Thinking of the root of your anger gives your brain enough time to switch from the angry mood to a curious mode which is better off and keeps you in a nonviolent or aggressive situation.



Number 2: Suppress your anger and convert it into energy:


Anger could be your way of feeling powerful and less vulnerable. Like a schoolboy who is bullied severally for being tender or timid, tends to get angry and challenge his bullies by setting up a fight after school due to his rage. Same as every other person, when we are furious, we can make stupid or unconscious decisions that we’re likely to regret later.
However, the best thing you should do when you feel angry is to repress the emotion and channel the energy to something else. Let’s say you’re an employee who has worked so hard for a company without any promotions for a long time and has gotten angry for not being recognized or appreciated. Instead of badging into your boss’s office to quit your job and losing your only source of income and access to taking care of your six kids at home, you can try channeling your energy to the work. Use the angry energy till it is completely diffused and you no longer feel the negative emotion.



Number 3: Write down exactly how you feel:


Just like a sixteen-year-old that has a diary, where he/she can talk and explain what’s currently going on in his/her life. You can as well get a journal for your angry self. Put down every disgruntled feeling you have in the order of how your anger makes you feel, what caused your anger, and who you wish you could blame for it. By the time you’re done, you’ll notice the sudden relief you will experience.

This will help you let go of words that are written and not said to hurt yourself or another person. You are angry maybe because you think that it’s the only way you can communicate your feelings and be understood. But there are chances of creating a much more misunderstanding when you show anger.

Photo – Unsplash


Number 4: Express your anger:


Being angry is not a crime. It is healthy for anyone to feel angry. It’s one of the coping mechanisms that is proven to work like magic. As much as being angry is destructive, it’s ok to feel angry. But don’t become a crazy maniac, try to express your anger positively.


How can you do this?
Personally, when I’m angry, I choose to do more chores than normal. I use that angry energy to clean everywhere till I’m exhausted. I try to lose all my energy and engage myself with things that are contrary to the root of my anger.

The root of my anger could be a person, so I try to avoid the person or give them a little space so that I can cool off, and this is because the root of your anger triggers more energy to the negative emotion and increases it.
You could try exercising, sleeping, punching a sack, or even taking a warm bath.
Try to distract yourself and express your anger in other ways than focusing on the cause of your anger to avoid violence and destruction.



Number 5: Address the cause of your anger but do not blame anyone or anything:


Most times, facing your anger can be the best option. Fear can cause anger, so it is better to face it. Let’s say you’re about to give a presentation, and your assistant didn’t prepare your speech or the project summary. You’re angry because you’ll mess up on stage and bring a bad name to your company. Now!! You don’t have a choice other than to give it a shot and use that energy to give your best.
Or perhaps, the fault of your anger is a person, try not to blame the person but rather address the person using the first person singular pronoun “I”.
For instance, you want to complain about the taste of the food to the cook. Instead of saying: “Eew, this is disgusting, how can you serve me this rubbish, tastes like baby poop, your food is the worst I’ve ever tasted” you can try saying: “Uhmm, I am not a fan of this meal but I appreciate the effort, although I don’t think it’s made for me. I’ll rather have something else.” There’s less reaction in the second statement and more tendency that the cook will not become angry about the complaint.
You should always try to refer back to yourself when you are angry. Let’s say, you are furious about how another person spoke to you, you should use the first person singular pronoun and address the case; “You are very rude and you are disrespectful for speaking to me in that manner”… This statement can bring up more frustration from both sides and increase the rage in both parties, but when you say “I don’t like it when you/someone speaks to me like that” it’s less aggressive and more expressive.

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